Marriage

Recently a couple of friends have started on the road to divorce. Seeing these marriages fail got me to thinking about why our marriage is still going strong, probably stronger than it 6-7 years ago (we have been married 9.5 years). Have we just been lucky?

I think the answer is that we have been blessed by God without some of the problems some families face. But, I also think we have done some things that have helped us maintain a strong marriage.

First, we both were believers when we got married. Neither of us were super strong in our faith, but both of us had the desire to grow. This is important because the Bible says:
Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you. And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.
2 Corinthians 6:14-18

Second, we have learned to follow the roles God laid out. To an unbeliever, being a submissive wife might seem demeaning or "un-feminist." But, as a believer, I have found this to be very rewarding and not in the least bit demeaning. It first takes learning to submit to God. This I learned the best when I was pregnant with AJU5. Her pregnancy wasn't our plan at the time. I wanted to work full time longer (i had only been full time for a year). We were looking for a new house. We had plans. But, God had a better plan. I learned to submit to that over time. It took until Week 18 of that pregnancy to start submitting really, but I did. Putting our future in His hands made everything so much simpler. There had been times in the past we have put things in His hands - my husband's job during his senior year of college, finding our first home, etc. But, this one was the first time that I really had to submit and I couldn't do anything else. My husband had to learn to love me as Christ loves the church as well. To a woman, this seems easy. As women, it is easy to love. But, for men it is a lot harder. He has learned to nurture me. He has learned to support me when I need it. He has learned when to back off for a few minutes and let me settle down. Are either of us perfect in this? No. There are times I don't want to submit to him and rebel. There are times he isn't very loving. But, most of the time when we start to get close to a fight, I think both of us remember these verses:
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
Ephesians 5:22-33

Finally, we spend time together. We are home 6 nights a week. The night we aren't together we are spending time studying and learning about God. We probably should go to evening services at church more (there are two other nights during the week we could go), but since the end of AJU7's pregnancy it hasn't been easy. There isn't a kids' program those nights, so we are always distracted by them. And it runs right up to if not past their current bed time (7:30). But, those are excuses... Back to spending time together. We aren't going different directions every night of the week. We spend time as a family and as a couple, even though we don't go on dates. Most nights after the kids are in bed we do something together (normally watching TV for about 45 minutes). But, we also have played games, etc. I think this helps our marriage a lot because we have a chance to grow together both as a family and as a couple.

So, there it is. I count it a blessing we haven't had any big fights in about 5 years. We have had small ones, but we used to have a lot more fights for sure...

Monkeys

So, AJU6 (our 7 week old son), has a lot of monkey things. Monkeys and dogs are the common decorations on infant boy clothing this year it seems. I don't have anything wrong with monkeys, but some of the sayings on the clothes could easily be taken wrong.

Now how could they be taken wrong? It comes down to evolution. Things like "Mommy's little monkey" could easily be construed as thinking we are just another primate. We are not. We are a special creation of God. We are made in His image, unlike the other animals. Yes, we have a lot in common with primates, but we also have almost as much in common with many other animals! This is all because there is a common Creator who, as one would expect, used some common templates.

So, it makes me think about what I should put on him. I know around close friends what he is wearing won't impact them. They share our belief, so they know he is just wearing things because they look cute. But, out in public it could easily be taken as support for evolution. Well, I wouldn't say support per se. So many people don't understand the debate at all. They just get fed evolution from birth and have no idea about any of the issues with the theory.

So, what do you think?

Memorial Service

Sunday morning will be my grandmother's memorial service. She died 7 months ago, but because she chose to be cremated, we decided to wait until now to do the service so more of us could attend. I wasn't that close to my grandparents because I didn't see them that often. We moved over 1000 miles away when I was about 3 months old, and we never moved back. I remember her visiting about once a year and our visits up there occasionally. I remember letters and gifts from her and to her, but our relationship was little more than that.

Somehow I got "nominated" to do the Scripture reading at the service. I know God's hand is in this for sure! The majority of the family knows the Truth but has chosen to not accept it for themselves. I know one uncle, his wife, and two of their three kids (one of which won't be there) are saved, but the others we are unsure of. So, I think it is fitting that this uncle and I are the two doing the "Christian" portions of the service - the reading and the closing prayer.

But, this has made my choice of Scripture challenging. First, I only want to say what God would have me to say. So, I have been praying for about two months about what verses to say. Second, I want to chose a verse that has meaning but won't offend. I want a passage that will make those who haven't accepted Christ to think about their relationship with Him without closing any doors that might be cracked already. So, I have narrowed it down to three passages:

• John 3:16-17
• John 14:1-4
• Romans 14:7-9

I emailed this list to my uncle (and she showed it to his wife). They like the Romans passage, but think reading all three would be fine too. So, I am leaving it in God's hands now. Hopefully He will make it clear what to read on Sunday. I know my uncle and aunt are praying for me. I know my church family here is praying as well as my husband. Hopefully through the service at least one seed will be planted.

Bumper Sticker

Have you ever seen the "God is my co-pilot" bumper stickers? The original one had a big flaw in terms of theology. If God is the co-pilot, then you would be the pilot. That would mean you were in charge, not God. But, as many of us have learned the hard way, God is always the one in control. He let's us think we are in control some times, but He is the true pilot of our lives. We can make plans (and should), but His plans may be different. It can be hard to deal with, but if you understand that God's plans are always better, it helps. The hardest part is not knowing why God's plans are better- something we may not see until we are in heaven (if we even remember to ask).

I was talking to my MIL last night. They have a small hay farm, and the hay is ready to be cut, etc. But, it has been raining a lot lately there. So, they can't cut until the ground is somewhat dry. She mentioned she has been praying for ht rain to stop, but she doesn't know if that is God's will. So, I told I would pray: "God, in our minds, it seems it would be best if the rain would stop. If this is truly best, please let the rain stop. If not, do what is best." (or something very similar)

When have you had to learn God is in control - that He is the pilot and we are just the co-pilots?

Trusting God

I have a re-occurring problem of trying to make my own plans and not wanting to follow God's plans. I like to be in control/to think I can do things on my own. I have gotten better at not blaming God when He "says" He has other plans, but I am still guilty of making lots of plans without praying about them first.

Do you trust God in all areas of your life? Do you like to be in control?

Birth Control

This post will be about the basic options and the moral issues some have with them. Feel free to share what you think! This is just a basic overview of what I know...

Hormone Options (Pill, Patch, etc)
The originally, the goal of these methods was to prevent the body from ovulating. But, they found out that even with high doses, some women still ovulated. So, now they also prevent implantation in the event you do ovulate, etc. As a result, many Christians have issue with these. Because they prevent implantation, there can still be conception. So, many feel that this method causes very early abortions. Also, for some women (like Mrs. Duggar), the embryo will implant but will not survive due to the poor uterine lining caused by the birth control.

Barrier Options (Condom, Diaphragm, etc)
These methods prevent the sperm from getting to the egg. The only object some have with these methods (morally) is that you are having relations without a chance of conception. You are relations without a chance of pregnancy (i.e. the Catholic objection to most birth control). But, in my mind, God can still cause the barrier to fail if He wanted you pregnant - they are 100% effective!

Surgical Methods (Tubal Ligation/Vasectomy)
These two methods (as well as the new Essure method) create a "hole" in one partner's plumbing so that either the egg or sperm is not available for conception. The moral objections to a vasectomy are the same as to the barrier methods. With the tubal ligation, there may be an increased chance of ectopic pregnancy. So, as a result some women choose to not have it done because they are afraid of being the cause of causing a child to die (similar to the issues with hormonal methods).

Family Planning
There are many versions of this, but the general principle is that you chart and determine when you ovulate. You refrain for relations or use a barrier method during the period of time you may become pregnant. The only moral objection to this is not giving God complete control (in some people's minds).

How do you feel about birth control? Did you know about all of these moral issues? Do you know of more moral issues?

Please Share Your Ideas!

Forgiveness

This weekend, I had an experience watching someone struggle with forgiveness. My brother-in-law was struggling to forgive his dad and younger brother for selling his car stereo (it was in the younger brother's car, and they didn't take it out when they sold it). They offered to pay him for it, but he wasn't willing to forgive them. It turned up into a big argument/fight (as normally does when this BIL gets upset).

In the end, one of the brothers finally put it this way - they have asked for forgiveness. It is now in your hands. It is between you and God at this point.

The Bible says this is true. Here are some verses:
Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. Colossians 3:13

Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven: Luke 6:37

For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. Moreover when ye fast, be not, as the hypocrites, of a sad countenance: for they disfigure their faces, that they may appear unto men to fast. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward. Matthew 6:14-16

And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. Mark 11:25

El Shaddai

Last night in our Faith Bible Institute class, we were studying the names of God. One of the names we covered was El Shaddai - The Mighty God. Literally, El Shaddai means the breasted one. John Yates went into an analogy about God and us. An infant/toddler is crawling towards the edge of a cliff. His mom tries to get him to come to her by chasing after him, etc, but he only goes closer to the edge (thinking his mom is playing). Then, in a last ditch effort, she pares her breast in an effort to get the baby to come away from the edge. The baby natural comes to his mom to nurse.

This description reminds us that God draws us to Him, just as a mom can draw her baby. He draws us to Him when we are wandering dangerously close to the edge. Have you seen God work in your life like this? I have. Some times you don't notice the callings and drawings at the time, but they are there. A friend may say something. Someone might ask you to do something to help them. There might be a special service or event at church you feel called to attend. Whatever it is, God is calling you back to Him before He has to call you home.

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Sunday I got my diploma from Faith Bible Institute. I completed the six semesters/three years through the Bible in December. My husband and one of our friends also completed it at the same time. I highly recommend some sort of complete, chronological study of the Bible. Studying this way allows you to put all the stories together. It gives you a better foundation for studying the Bible on your own.

Part Two of Mary-Lou's Question

Here is the question Mary-Lou asked:
I don't know if you have already posted this, but I always love hearing abut the personal spiritual journeys of people. How did you come to Christ? What has been your biggest challenge? What has been your greatest joy? How do you related to Jesus... Lord, Teacher, Savior? (I ask that last one because I think he is ALL of those things, but I realize that I tend to turn to him more as Lord than Teacher, etc. It is something I work on, continuing to develop all aspects of my relationship with him.)

I answered the first part earlier this week with my testimony. Now on to the rest of it.

I would say my biggest challenge is submitting to God. I like to be in control. I like to do things myself. But, I know things would be easier if I let God have the pilot seat and I took the co-pilot role. He has shown us that He is in charge, and even then we got mad at Him. We we found out we were pregnant with AJU5, it took us about a month to accept that it was His will. We did learn from this and didn't get upset with the most recent pregnancy (which ended in a miscarriage), but we did ask why! I wish I was better at handing even the simple things over to Him though. I find that when I pray about even simple issues, they work out a lot simpler than when I try to do it on my own!

I would say my greatest joy is AJU5. Now, she is also a big headache, but as some of my colleagues have said, I seem the happiest now with her. God called me to be a mother, and I am enjoying it.

Jesus is more Savior to me each day. But, I should lean on Him more as teacher and Lord. Like I said above, I tend to take control and not hand things over like I should. I like to be lord of my life, but He should be the Lord. I am also learning from Him through His Word, but I don't study as much as I should. Hopefully I will continue to grow in these areas!

Feel free to answer these questions yourself!

My Testimony

Here is the question Mary-Lou asked:
I don't know if you have already posted this, but I always love hearing abut the personal spiritual journeys of people. How did you come to Christ? What has been your biggest challenge? What has been your greatest joy? How do you related to Jesus... Lord, Teacher, Savior? (I ask that last one because I think he is ALL of those things, but I realize that I tend to turn to him more as Lord than Teacher, etc. It is something I work on, continuing to develop all aspects of my relationship with him.)

So, today I will post about how I came to know the Lord as my Saviour. I will tackle the other questions later :)

My family went to church (Methodist) until I was 6. We moved to a new town, and my parents weren't big fans of the church there. So, we became Easter/Christmas "Christians" for a while, and as I got older, even that stopped. There were times in high school that, looking back, I can see God calling me. But, I was not ready or willing. I ended up going to a "Christian" college. My degree required me to take two religion classes. I put these off until my senior year (partly because I was working on a double major, etc and had to front-load those classes). In the fall, I took a class on the Old Testament/Hebrew Bible, and in the spring I took a class on the heroes (and heroines) of the ancient world. Through these two classes, I came to the conclusion that there was a God, and the most likely, at least what I had read of the Bible, was true. But, I had VERY little of the New Testament.

Then I met my husband. We actually met online through one of the online chat programs. He was raised in the church and had accepted Christ at a young age. Some of our first conversations were about religion and Christianity. He (I don't remember how) got me to read one of the Gospels. I asked him and a female friend of his questions as I read through it. What I read, to me, was obviously true (with the exception of things I just didn't understand/was confused about - which is why I asked questions). This was all during the roughly two months I spent at my parents before going to grad school. At the end of this period, AJU1 also convinced me to find a campus ministry to attend. I chose the one that had some things online, including a Yahoo Group, so I could get to know people before I started to attend. Within a few weeks of attending that campus ministry and church, I had accepted Christ as my Saviour. I can't say what day it actually happened though. See, during the two months of really searching and studying, I prayed a lot of possible "salvation" prayers. Many of them where of the "If you are really there" type, so any of those could have actually been the point of my salvation. I just know that I am certain I am saved now!

What Is Number 1 In Your Life?

As a Christian, God should be number 1 in my life. But, often times I put life and my family before Him. There are days I don't spend more than 5 minutes with Him in prayer or reading. I do listen to Christian music a lot, but sometimes it is more entertainment than worship.

What ever is number 1 in your life is the god of your life. Everyone has a god in their life - whether they admit it or not. But, is your god God?

If you want God to be the number one thing in your life, what do you do to make Him number 1? I am trying to getting some reading in in the morning before my daughter wakes up. I am hoping that starting the day off on the right foot will motivate me to spend more time in prayer even when I am busy doing other things. Hopefully it will also allow me to actually listen and meditate on the words of the songs I listen to on the radio.

Thoughts?

Baptism

Baptize is from the Greek word "Baptizo" which means immersing.

Chronologically, one of the first mentions of baptism in the Bible is in Matthew 3:
⁵ Then Jerusalem, all Judea, and all the region around the Jordan went out to him ⁶ and were baptized by him in the Jordan, confessing their sins. ...
¹¹ I indeed baptize you with water unto repentance, but He who is coming after me is mightier than I, whose sandals I am not worthy to carry. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire.

Here John the Baptist is baptizing Jews prior to Jesus beginning His ministry. This baptism was a symbolic washing away of sins committed. It was similar to the washing the high priests did before offering the prayers of the people up to God in the Temple.

Later in that chapter, John the Baptist baptizes Jesus:
¹³ Then Jesus came from Galilee to John at the Jordan to be baptized by him. ¹⁴ And John tried to prevent Him, saying, “I need to be baptized by You, and are You coming to me?”
¹⁵ But Jesus answered and said to him, “Permit it to be so now, for thus it is fitting for us to fulfill all righteousness.” Then he allowed Him.
¹⁶ When He had been baptized, Jesus came up immediately from the water; and behold, the heavens were opened to Him, and He saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and alighting upon Him. ¹⁷ And suddenly a voice came from heaven, saying, “This is My beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.”

Jesus did not need to have the cleansing from sins - as He was sinless. Instead, He was baptized as an example for us. (These verses also give us evidence of the Trinity in that all three parts of God are described individually).

Later, at the Great Commission, we are instructed to go and baptize:
Matthew 28:
¹⁹ Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, ²⁰ teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Amen.

It is clear that baptism is something the saved should partake in. But, is it required for salvation?
I do not believe it is. First, salvation is by faith and not works. Baptism is a work. Second, one of the thieves at Calvary was saved but not baptized (Luke 23:39-43). There are verses that state baptism and salvation in the same sentence, but if you look at the sentence structure in the Greek, it seems clear that it is not a requirement of salvation (I don't remember the exact verses for this, but if you would like, I can look it up).

Now, for the method of baptism: If you read the first line of the post, baptism should be an immersion, because that is what baptism means. Also, that is how it was done in the New Testament - submersion in the river. So, I do not agree with the sprinkling form of baptism. I also don't agree with infant baptism. I believe baptism is something you do in response to faith. It should be done by the saved as an act of obedience to God. It is a form of public confession of our faith. An infant is not able to make that statement of faith, and therefore I don't believe an infant should be baptized. I know some parents do it as a sign they are going to raise the child in the nurture and ammunition of the Lord, but I think a dedication service is a better fit for this statement.

Questions? Comments?

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Romans 13:1-7
1 Let every soul be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are appointed by God. 2 Therefore whoever resists the authority resists the ordinance of God, and those who resist will bring judgment on themselves. 3 For rulers are not a terror to good works, but to evil. Do you want to be unafraid of the authority? Do what is good, and you will have praise from the same. 4 For he is God’s minister to you for good. But if you do evil, be afraid; for he does not bear the sword in vain; for he is God’s minister, an avenger to execute wrath on him who practices evil. 5 Therefore you must be subject, not only because of wrath but also for conscience’ sake. 6 For because of this you also pay taxes, for they are God’s ministers attending continually to this very thing. 7 Render therefore to all their due: taxes to whom taxes are due, customs to whom customs, fear to whom fear, honor to whom honor.

Valleys and Mountains

As a Christian, we go through mountains and valleys in our faith and walk with God. On te mountain tops, we are spending regular, daily time studying His Word, praying, and worshiping Him. In the valleys, we tend to ignore God and spend little to no time with Him.

Where are you right now?

I think I am just leaving a valley. I have spent time in pray and worship, but my Bible study is greatly lacking. Luckily for me, Faith Bible Institute starts up next week, so I will have to get back into reading my Bible. Hopefully I will do the reading daily and not cram it all into a day or two like I have done some in the past. With the exception of some Psalms that I just didn't get to reading, I have read the Bible cover to cover in the past three years. Next week I will start over, reading Genesis and the Gospels. With the course there are verses to learn for exams. I hope to actually spend time learning them instead of cramming for the exams and forgetting them soon.